Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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