ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
