sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
