a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
