so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
