Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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