i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
