Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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