Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
