my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
