i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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