Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
