But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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