So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
