It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm passing your future prison.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize