I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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