At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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