Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
