You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the condom got lost in my hair
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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