all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
