Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
