i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
