no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!