Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize