Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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