he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize