I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
