Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I have post one night stand depression
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