omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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