i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
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