dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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