what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
