New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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