Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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