I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Less talking, more tequila
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
