My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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