So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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