Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I need water and some morals
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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