Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
