Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
