When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
