Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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