I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
