margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
