i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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