i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
