Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
