his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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