I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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