Do you still have your period?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
