You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
This is classic penis vs brain.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
