I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
