his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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