Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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