I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
