I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize